X-Rated Movie Starring Kells Coming To A Theater Near You
Some homeless guy approached me in the parking lot of Walgreens yesterday trying to solicit Porno DVDs. It kinda made me think, whatever happen selling candy - or perhaps a newspaper? When did homeless people get clever and realize there's a whole new market out there? Now it wasn't the solicitation that shocked me, it was the title of the DVD that caught my attention. The title of the DVD the guy was trying to sell me was "There's A Black Man In My Wife's Ass." Wow - that's a hell of marketing pitch. Seems like the porn industry puts a lot into the titles of their DVDs. Some titles are clean, but then there are some titles that are down right stupid. Such as; Strap on Midget, Foot Fuckers, My Granny Is A Trannie, and one of my personal favorite titles - Razor Burn. And for the record, no I didn't purchase the porno. I'm a role model remember?
I recently discovered a Muslim dating service that I find to be hilarious. Not because of the weird profiles, but because of the outrageous photo gallery. Never the less, within the next couple of weeks I plan on changing my religion so I can eligible to date one of these exotic stallions.
I've got a couple of tattoos, but I'm not really pleased with my work thus far. The next couple of tattoos I grab, I want to really catch people's attention. For example there's this Britteny Spears tattoo that I just have to have!
People say I go overboard when advertising my website, but trust me.....things could be a lot worst.
Final Thought: Yesterday my little cousin went joyriding with his 13-14 year old friends. They were busted when the parents of the kid who was driving the car spotted their car was missing. Everyone including me had a long talk with them about how dangerous it is to joy ride especially at such a young age. They could of seriously hurt someone, got arrested, or even worse - HIT MY CAR! As I was preaching to my cousin and one of the other kids.....I could tell everything I said was going in one ear and out the other. This was a constant reminder that I'm in no rush to have kids. Can the church get a Amen!

5 Comments:
This has got to be the wil'est post EVER...Hands Down. About 2 years ago, I was gettin' down with this chick (S.T.W) and she was into porn and wanted to make a tape. It would've been a Great Tape but it wouldn't have been no fun because me and my guys didn't approve of the limitations she "stood" behind.
What did Snoop tell us back in '93?
AMEN!
Bt if we're going to continue to be friends...I need you to get it together. WORST, isn't a word...it's just WORSE!
I'm shocked Mr. Kelly I would've thought you of all poeple on earth would've known that!!!
You just reminded me... I need to get my new tattoo, BUT I can't decide what to get, I have a couple ideas but I haven't made up my mind yet.
I KNOW I KNOW... NO TRAP STAMP TATTOO!!!
you are wrong for those muslim chicks.
some people are obsessed with being the center of attention, the Muslim women obviously aren't.. LOL
saw the murphy head in Times Square
Answer to Angelo's Question
Ain't no fun, if the homies can't have none!
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